Dancing with my Grandmother

First of all, Aurora: An American Experience in Quilt, Community and Craft is out! It was #8 on the Pacific Northwest Booksellers Bestsellers list for its opening week. Hurrah and thank you! I'm giving away four copies of that book so leave a comment (including your email so I can reach you to ask for your snail mail address to send you the book) and I'll select four people at random to receive this hardcover book.

Come April, I'll do the same for my novel, A Flickering Light.

Several years ago a reader in Alaska asked for permission to use my book, A Burden Shared, as part of a conference with native American women of the Cauluka tribe called "To Dance with our Grandmothers: a gathering of women for wholeness" Of course I consented. I'd written that little book (that is now called A Simple Gift of Comfort) to bring nurture to people dealing with various kinds of challenges and grief. I loved the title of their conference. The presentors hoped to help these women see the strengths within themselves that had been handed down to them from their grandmothers but they also planned to offer strategies so that memories stirred up would heal rather than hold them hostage. The organization sent me a book bag and a sweatshirt with the title on it and a pin, a symbol of the Cauluka tribe. I treasure them all still.

During these past months of working on A Flickering Light, I've become more aware of my own grandmother and the dance I have with her. I try to gather as much history as I can when I'm researching actual historical women and then speculate about the missing events, or ask myself questions about why she was where she was when and what must she have been thinking?

That last question is especially important as I've asked, "what must my grandmother have been thinking to allow herself to become so enamored with this unavailable man?" or "What was she thinking setting aside her own passion for photography to risk a relationship that had no future?" The questions have morphed into my thinking about the kinds of decisions I've made through the years and wondering why I did what I did. I suppose that's a risk of history, or at least of personal history. I wonder how much like her I am or whether the evidence for her life she left behind is really who she was?

There are discrepancies in this dance of her life. For example, I have tapes of interviews with her and her adult children and some of what she says doesn't jibe with the facts. Did she forget or did she wish to mislead and if the latter, who was she protecting? Herself or someone else?

That led me to think about a story that theologian Deidrich Bonhoffer told, about a teacher who asked a boy if his father had been drunk the night before. The teacher knew the answer: the boy's father had been publically drunk. The boy stood before the class and said his father hadn't been drinking. He told a lie. So the question Bonhoffer posed was whether it was more moral for an honest person to tell a lie, e.g. the boy, than for a dishonest person, e.g. the teacher, to tell the truth.

Bonhoffer's conclusion was that it was more moral for an honest person to tell a lie because usually he/she does so out of love, to protect another; whereas a person who frequently lies uses the truth as power, to control another person just as the teacher had done to the boy, humiliating him before his peers as he let him know that he knew the truth of his father's state.

I've thought about that often as I dance with my grandmother. What would I lie to protect? Have I told the truth in order to control? What legacy did she mean to leave and what will I leave behind?

A Flickering Light explores some of this as I tried to answer the questions my grandmother's life raised. It is also a story I hope that encourages us to ask ourselves why we do what we do, how we sometimes sabatoge our best hopes and what we can learn from those experiences. I hope you'll look for it in April.

Meanwhile I also promised to tell you about the writing process. The galleys were sent well before Christmas; I've sent them back with my corrections and just last week added a few more. Endorsers are being asked to read the book and see if they're willing to have their names attached to it, always stressful as they may just decide it's not up to their standards or the story is so far removed from the kinds of books they write that their endorsement would mislead their readers if it appeared on my title.

We finished the maps for the book and in the process of proofing them I located a photograph of streetcar bridge across Lake Winona. That set me to wondering when that bridge was built and should I have it on my map or was it torn down by then? That discovery led me to make a little change in the text because the bridge did exist then and we also added it to the map. A detail, I know. This is the stage where I have to watch my tendency toward OC (which is not Orange County!). I have to let go and realize there may be errors or mistakes but I've done the very best I could to make it authentic and a worthy read. The best thing to do now is to keep writing the sequel, take my mind off the book that is "finished."

In a few days, I'll post more about this process. Maybe you'll stop by and share a bit of your own. Happy New Year! Don't forget to say hi and in so doing register to win an Aurora book!Jane

The cover, A Flickering Light

Here's the cover for my latest novel. I hope you like it! We're in the "gathering endorsements" phase right now, asking people whose work I admire if they'd be willing to read the book and perhaps say something nice about it. Of course, they may hate it and they don't have to say anything good! This is always a time of angst for a writer. The book is finished. It's gone to galley format. A few changes can be made at this point but otherwise, it's finished. Perfection doesn't mean "without errors" it means "complete." So the book is complete. And I work even as we speak on the sequel...I hope you enjoy this little insight into the next book. Keep writing your own, though! Never stop. Jane

A Flickering Light, first photograph

This is my grandmother, Jessie Ann Gaebele. She either took this photograph herself (she was a photographer at the turn of the century) or it was taken of her by the man she worked for. I love this photograph. She told me that her mother called that dress her "kept woman dress" which really annoyed her no end because she said she saved $.25 a week for six months to buy that dress herself.

In my novel about her life, A Flickering Light, I use this photograph along with four others. My grandmother is the narrator for these photographs but the rest of the story is told in third person through her eyes, her employer's eyes and the eyes of his wife. It's an intriguing story I think and I hope you'll like it when it comes out April 21, 2009.

In the sequel I'll be using additional photographs. The process of exploring the pictures, glass negatives I had developed, has been an interesting journey. I've been "reading" the images and unveiling her mystery but also mysteries of my own. I think that's what happens when we read. Who knows what mysteries you'll discover about yourself as you read her story.

WILLA Literary Award in San Antonio

Yes, we went to Texas! We already had tickets to attend the Women Writing the West conference when we learned that A Tendering in the Storm had won the WILLA Literary Award for Original Softcover Fiction. You can see me holding the trophy (and it covers up my cleavage so nicely, don't you think?) The pin is the symbol for the association and once you've been a board member you get to wear the stylized one as I have on. The earrings were carved for me from mammoth ivory by my friend Elfi Gross. Jerry rarely smiles in photographs...he was acutally having a great time. We visited the Alamo, attended great workshops and he and Bob Foard, husband of the new President of WWW, Sheila Foard, talked guy stuff. My agent and her husband made the trip as well. It was a great evening and a honor to have a book of mine earn the award.

We walked a lot in San Antonio, the weather was perfect for touring both the Alamo and the Menger Hotel. A great city with a fascinating history. The riverwalk is a relaxing place whether walking or taking the boat ride through that portion of the city. We flew hom on Monday (via Atlanta, Salt Lake and Portland!).

Three days later I was back in Texas for the Houston Quilt Show. I spent an evening with my godson Erick Fredstrom and his wife. It was great to see them and have a personalized tour of Houston. If you ever wish to treat yourself to a quilt show where people from around the world teach and display their wares and where you can see quilts hung like paintings in a gallery, well, you should plan to attend the Houston show (that next year will be October 14-18 and you'll need to plan ahead to get a place to stay).

Right now I'm waiting on pins and needles to see the hardcover copy of Aurora: An American Experience in Quilt, Community and Craft. Should be receiving it before long as it'll be in the stores by December 16th. You can scroll down and see Emma's quilt that started it all. I hope you're all writing...and finding things to be grateful for.

I've also posted my "monthly words of encouragement" on my website www.jkbooks.com so please stop by. Have a great day. Warmly, Jane

Columbia River Glacier

Here at last is that photograph of Jerry and me at the Columbia Glacier in Alberta, Canada. It still amazes me that we were there where the Columbia River begins. Our John Day River flowing past our ranch flows into the Columbia 29 miles from here. I tried to load this on my website but failed so here it is thanks to my friend Loris Webb from Edmonton.

Jerry has gone off elk hunting and I'm hoping to catch up on some writing projects as well as teach a class at the Wordstock festival in Portland. I'll also have a signing there in the morning, 11:00 AM should any of you be available to stop by and say hi! Stay well, Jane

Alberta Canada in October

Our trip to Alberta, Canada...a treasure from my writing chest. A bugling elk, at dusk. Yes, we were this close! Jerry didn't like the color of this photo but I love it. It's almost sepia tone but it was actually the way the evening melted into night: soft and slow and restful.

The view of Edith Lake, Jaspar National Park, Alberta, Canada. This was our view when we awoke each morning. Spectacular. Our hosts have a family cottage on this lake where we heard elk bugle and watched ducks make perfect v's across the water. The landscape reminded me of Wisconsin and Minnesota but with mountains.

Meet Loris and Gary Webb of Edmonton, Alberta who treated the us to a wonderful time in Canada in October. While things were going awry in the stock market in the states, we visited a small museum in Jasper, the Royal Alberta museum in Edmonton, drove up to Maligne (pronounced ma-lean) Lake and Medicine Lake, names familiar from my research for the Tender Ties series; and walked up close to the Columbia Ice Fields and relished the granduer there. Sadly, all the shots we took at the ice fields became blurs of white: too much sun and too much ice! Oh, that's me on the right looking very grateful I hope for Loris taking the time to write to me some years back after reading A Gathering of Finches. It was her first book of mine but happily, not the last. We've corresponded through the years and when they learned that I would be keynoting a writer's conference in Edmonton, extended an invitation to Jerry and me to spend a few extra days with them. She's generous with her books, giving me a couple to read while we stayed at their cabin on Edith Lake. Gary is a marvelous story-teller and we laughed, ate very well, and relaxed. A perfect time of restoration.

Blogger Interview with Heidi Thomas

Hi all.

Heidi Thomas has interviewed me the last couple of days about writing and about A Tendering in the Storm winning the WILLA Literary Award for Best Original Paperback for 2008 --Yeah!

Her questions and my answers are on her blog at http://heidiwriter.wordpress.com/ Heidi also just signed a contract for a book which is a big hurrah for her! She's been working as an editor and a writer for a long time and this will be her first novel. Perseverance pays!

As for me, I'm heading off to teach a writing workshop this weekend then flying to Minnesota for research and a brief visit with my brother and family and aunt and uncle then on to Madison and Lodi Wisconsin for events there. Check my schedule at my website www.jkbooks.com.

One other addition: I learned that rattlesnake poison must be willfully released from a live snake according to my vet. If a dog eats a dead snake, one dead for the past week that he dug up after I buried it! Then likely the venom will be absorbed into his stomach without hurting him. But in case you're worried, you can force the dog to throw up by having him lap up a tablespoon or so of hydrogen peroxide. He is not happy with you once you have done this, and you must quickly go through what he desposited on the carpet before he eats it again. I know, gross. If you're lucky, you'll find bits of snake but no head which means he probably didn't eat the head in the first place.

Ah the wonders of living on Starvation Lane. Happy happy. Jane