photo therapy, a Flickering Light, family photos

I’ve heard that from several readers who have seen the advanced copies of A Flickering Light about the photographs I included in this biographical novel about my grandmother's life. I've shown a couple in previous posts. I'm glad I held out to include them in the ARC. Initially the publisher didn’t want to add them in the ARC and I thought it would really be missing something if we didn't include them. The main character, based on my grandmother's life, talks in first person about several different shots while the rest of the book is told in third person through the eyes of Jessie, her mentor, FJ Bauer and FJ Bauer's wife, Mrs. Bauer. I’ve added several more shots in the second book because of people’s responses.

The photographs are part of a family collection of glass plates from the 1900s. One blogger who did a review commented on how intriguing it was to read about a photograph from the character's point of view and also about a scene when my grandmother's mentor gives her a photograph he'd taken of her when she hadn't been aware, inserting it in a photographic case. She said she'd been moved by that scene then asked a question about fact and fiction of this book. Here's how I responded to her.

"As for the mix of fiction and fact: It isn’t a fact that he took a photograph of her that he gave to her for her birthday. But it seemed to me that this is how his relationship with her began, a collegial sort of contact, both of them liking photography, having some disagreement about the science of it vs the art, which was a part of the dialogue of the period and then moving toward where he enjoyed her company, could see the beauty in her, wanted to be a good mentor to her and then giving her gifts on the occasion of her birthday, perfectly innocent. Except that each had been denying a very strong attraction and sometimes the reality of those feelings aren’t even noticed but are difficult to hide inside a photograph.

I’m a mental health therapist by training and I took a continuing education class a few years back about photo-therapy, using photographs to help people get “unstuck” as they struggled with issues and patterns in their lives. Part of that project meant looking at photographs of myself and my family. I discovered during that time that in all the photographs of me and my mother, she never touched me, had never put her arms around my shoulder or stood close enough in a family shot to touch me. It had defined our relationship in many ways, this separation.

She was quite ill at the time and I made it a point to touch her, to get photographs of my touching her at least, even if she had difficulty touching me. The next months until her death were the very best between us. It seemed to me she rallied and we were able to do things together without her even carrying her oxygen with her. I have this terrific photograph of us both wearing cowboy hats as we attended an outdoor concert and my leaning into her, my hand on her shoulder, touching. I treasure it and feel strong about the importance of photographs as metaphors for our lives and that if we acknowledge the stories they tell in time, we can make changes.

My husband is a photographer and the best pictures of me have been taken by him; something about the eyes of the beholder bringing love into the picture. I was thinking of that when I wrote that scene you commented about.

The picture of her that is double exposed did get written up in the paper and was quite the invention for the time. I liked how there were two renditions, one with her nearly looking over her own shoulder which I think she did during that part of her life. (I tried to upload that picture today but given the size of it and the wind blowing my satellite dish around....you'll have to come read the book when it comes out next week to see it).'

It's getting exciting....the release is scheduled for April 14, the day before tax day! You can visit the blogger's review at www.thinkinggirlsguide.blogspot.com

Patty Hickman interview and A Flickering Light

Very soon, A Flickering Light will be released. I hope you find it and enjoy reading it. When you do -- if you do -- I'd love to have you visit Good Reads and leave a review http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4916580.A_Flickering_Light. Each kind word helps spread the word so thank you in advance.

I'm also a guest on Patty Hickman's blog this Friday. Patty is known for her fine writing and as a member of the Women of Faith tour over the years. Her blog likes to introduce readers to the authors behind the books so this interview is less about writing than about faith experiences. You might win a book! http://www.wordsunwired.blogspot.com.

I'm nearly finished with the revisions of the first cut of the sequel to A Flickering Light. I keep learning about myself as I write about my grandmother. I think there's something to this theory of emotional DNA being passed down. Jane

Writing Cheerleaders

Twenty-five years ago at this time I was busy moving my husband's shop equipment, packing our household goods into boxes, moving to my parents' home temporarily, finding a place for three mules and a horse (we had no fences to speak of on our property yet) AND trying to hold down my job as the director of the mental health clinic in Bend, Oregon while Jerry and friends came north to build the barn/shop/hangar on our homestead, 160 acres of rattlesnake and rock. I thought I hopped through a lot of hoops that year.
Here we are and I'm still hopping but with a lot more fun.
This week I wrote "The End" to the sequel of A Flickering Light that will be out in April. It's now titled "An Absence so Great;" and my author copies of A Flickering Light arrived on the homestead! Of course, it's not really the end: I have author notes and book group questions to write; there'll be revisions after my editor sees it; I'll be following up on questions raised by copy editors. Still, there is cause to celebrate.
We celebrate these moments (what I call the midwife role in writing) because if we wait until we achieve success -- give final birth -- we miss out on the joy along the way. We writers give our hearts to these stories and we need to find midwives who will cheer with us. My cheerleaders this week were the library staff of our new Sherman County Public School Library that we'll dedicate on Saturday. They've watched each of my books come out and made sure I saw the shelf at the new library where my novels now stretch. Pretty terrific. Books. What would I do without them.
Don't forget to take a look at the trailer for the book based on my grandmother's life as a turn of the century photographer. http://www.tangle.com/view_video.php?viewkey=225666529779c412cad0 Enjoy! And keep writing...

A Flickering Light

My latest novel will be out a little earlier....April 14th is the newest date. Below is the latest review from Publisher's Weekly. It was starred and is always a waited for review. Fortunately, this one is a great review and I'm grateful. Makes working on the sequel that much easier. I hope your day is going well and thank you for being one of my readers/colleagues/friends/relatives :) Jane

A Flickering Light Pub Weekly review

A new PUB Weekly review and a link to the book trailer for A Flickering Light. Enjoy while I work on the sequel! Jane

http://en-gb.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1033773417209&oid=6756687041



A Flickering Light Jane Kirkpatrick. WaterBrook, $13.99 paper (400p) ISBN 978-1-57856-980-9
Historical novelist Kirkpatrick (A Tendering in the Storm) is exceptionally authentic in her use of early 20th-century history. Virtually all the characters are real figures; protagonist Jessie Ann Gaebele is inspired in this “biographical fiction” by the writer's own grandmother. Jessie Ann loves photography, and when she is hired as an assistant to photographer F.J. Bauer, she learns about the field of her dreams and also about herself, as she finds herself attracted to her married boss, who battles his own feelings in return. Kirkpatrick renders the war among desire, duty and restraint with exquisite nuance. There are no unsympathetic characters in this tangle of relationships. Bauer's wife—also named Jessie—may be difficult to live with, but she has her reasons. The period detail—dangerous chemicals used in photography, debilitating and frequent illnesses, the routine constraints on women's choices—offers a compelling portrait of the time. Kirkpatrick deserves a wide audience for this coming-of-age tale that is aching and hopeful. (Apr.)

video trailer

I told Jerry to come look at my new trailer. He looked chagrined and started to protest that I'd buy something like a hay or cattle trailer without confering with him! I reminded him I had. It was a video trailer I'd bought and we'd discussed the expense last year. Here are some links to be able to see it.http://www.shoutlife.com/profile_view.cfm?uid=136956&view_mode=video&folder_id=1551&vid_id=2480

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCwUjAhpm24&feature=channel_page

If any of you purchased one of my books from Amazon through the years, you'll get a notice of the video also being posted on that site. Let me know what you think! I personally think it's great. Have a good day, Jane

Dancing with my Grandmother

First of all, Aurora: An American Experience in Quilt, Community and Craft is out! It was #8 on the Pacific Northwest Booksellers Bestsellers list for its opening week. Hurrah and thank you! I'm giving away four copies of that book so leave a comment (including your email so I can reach you to ask for your snail mail address to send you the book) and I'll select four people at random to receive this hardcover book.

Come April, I'll do the same for my novel, A Flickering Light.

Several years ago a reader in Alaska asked for permission to use my book, A Burden Shared, as part of a conference with native American women of the Cauluka tribe called "To Dance with our Grandmothers: a gathering of women for wholeness" Of course I consented. I'd written that little book (that is now called A Simple Gift of Comfort) to bring nurture to people dealing with various kinds of challenges and grief. I loved the title of their conference. The presentors hoped to help these women see the strengths within themselves that had been handed down to them from their grandmothers but they also planned to offer strategies so that memories stirred up would heal rather than hold them hostage. The organization sent me a book bag and a sweatshirt with the title on it and a pin, a symbol of the Cauluka tribe. I treasure them all still.

During these past months of working on A Flickering Light, I've become more aware of my own grandmother and the dance I have with her. I try to gather as much history as I can when I'm researching actual historical women and then speculate about the missing events, or ask myself questions about why she was where she was when and what must she have been thinking?

That last question is especially important as I've asked, "what must my grandmother have been thinking to allow herself to become so enamored with this unavailable man?" or "What was she thinking setting aside her own passion for photography to risk a relationship that had no future?" The questions have morphed into my thinking about the kinds of decisions I've made through the years and wondering why I did what I did. I suppose that's a risk of history, or at least of personal history. I wonder how much like her I am or whether the evidence for her life she left behind is really who she was?

There are discrepancies in this dance of her life. For example, I have tapes of interviews with her and her adult children and some of what she says doesn't jibe with the facts. Did she forget or did she wish to mislead and if the latter, who was she protecting? Herself or someone else?

That led me to think about a story that theologian Deidrich Bonhoffer told, about a teacher who asked a boy if his father had been drunk the night before. The teacher knew the answer: the boy's father had been publically drunk. The boy stood before the class and said his father hadn't been drinking. He told a lie. So the question Bonhoffer posed was whether it was more moral for an honest person to tell a lie, e.g. the boy, than for a dishonest person, e.g. the teacher, to tell the truth.

Bonhoffer's conclusion was that it was more moral for an honest person to tell a lie because usually he/she does so out of love, to protect another; whereas a person who frequently lies uses the truth as power, to control another person just as the teacher had done to the boy, humiliating him before his peers as he let him know that he knew the truth of his father's state.

I've thought about that often as I dance with my grandmother. What would I lie to protect? Have I told the truth in order to control? What legacy did she mean to leave and what will I leave behind?

A Flickering Light explores some of this as I tried to answer the questions my grandmother's life raised. It is also a story I hope that encourages us to ask ourselves why we do what we do, how we sometimes sabatoge our best hopes and what we can learn from those experiences. I hope you'll look for it in April.

Meanwhile I also promised to tell you about the writing process. The galleys were sent well before Christmas; I've sent them back with my corrections and just last week added a few more. Endorsers are being asked to read the book and see if they're willing to have their names attached to it, always stressful as they may just decide it's not up to their standards or the story is so far removed from the kinds of books they write that their endorsement would mislead their readers if it appeared on my title.

We finished the maps for the book and in the process of proofing them I located a photograph of streetcar bridge across Lake Winona. That set me to wondering when that bridge was built and should I have it on my map or was it torn down by then? That discovery led me to make a little change in the text because the bridge did exist then and we also added it to the map. A detail, I know. This is the stage where I have to watch my tendency toward OC (which is not Orange County!). I have to let go and realize there may be errors or mistakes but I've done the very best I could to make it authentic and a worthy read. The best thing to do now is to keep writing the sequel, take my mind off the book that is "finished."

In a few days, I'll post more about this process. Maybe you'll stop by and share a bit of your own. Happy New Year! Don't forget to say hi and in so doing register to win an Aurora book!Jane